Taking A Break From Movies To Talk About Rock Band

Yeah I know I've kinda set this whole "Schlock Drop" thing up as a movie blog, but, occasionally I like to play videogames too. And lately, when Grand Theft Auto 4 hasn't been eating up my time like a hungry, fat man eats pizza, I've been cooling down with a bit of X-Box 360 Rock Band. And so far, to the credit of Rock Band's creators Harmonix, Rock Band has been keeping my busy for months on end. I received Rock Band for Christmas, and I've been fed a steady stream of downloadable content; everything from Lynyrd Skynrd to "Beethoven's Cunt" is out there and available for purchase. A few weeks ago Harmonix even released their first full-album download - that being Judas Priest's not-so-fondly remembered mid-80's disc "Screaming For Vengeance". Why "Screaming For Vengeance"? Who the hell knows. Seriously, Judas Priest? But all this got me thinking (and that takes a lot). I said to myself; "Self, looking at your CD collection, what ten full albums would you like to see in Rock Band?"

I responded by saying "Self, let's waste some time creating a blog about it."

And here it is: The top-ten albums I'd enjoy maybe, possibly, hopefully appearing in Rock Band.












10. Rob Zombie - "Hellbilly Deluxe"
- Yeah, I know what people are saying; "Are you twelve?" "Is it still 1998?" But there's certainly something to be said for nostalgia. I've had this CD floating around my collection for going on ten years now and somehow, someway, this footnote in metal history has survived several collection purgings and me accidentally losing the case for it, as well as me dropping it on concrete. It's the devil on my back. It will never die. Shit like "Dragula", "Living Dead Girl", and "Superbeast" deserve to be immortalized, if only for their personal staying power in my collection.












9. System Of A Down - "Toxicity"
- Hear that sound? That's the sound of your fingers breaking and your voice screeching to a quiet whisper. Arguably, "Toxicity" is the culmination of System Of A Down's frantic, hyper kinetic, and incredibly violent musical style, with drum fills and bass lines more creative than the main riffs of most other "metal" songs. Listen to the CD's title track "Toxicity" and tell me that's something that wouldn't break your plastic guitar at the neck and leave your drummer's arms bleeding on the floor. And really, isn't that what music games are all about?













8. The Ramones - "The Ramones"
- Raw, unadulterated speed. Let it be said that I hate punk rock. Actually, make that new punk rock. The Ramones however, are a different story. If modern punk rock is characterised as being "whiny and self-indulgent" than The Ramones were the total opposite of that. Take screeching guitars, killer drums, and an amazing vocalist and throw in topics including Nazism, sniffing glue, and getting laid and you've got yourself a great Rock Band downloadable album.












7. Black Sabbath- "Heaven And Hell"
- For the most part, post- Ozzy Osbourne Black Sabbath is undiscovered country - and for good reason - because most of it sucks. Constant lineup changes, internal band drama, and a changing musical landscape led to a consistent downturn for the band until their most recent, Ozzy including, reunion. The one exception to Sabbath's post- Ozzy blues is "Heaven And Hell" - a disc created, seemingly, by the metal Gods themselves. There's something about a fresh sounding Ronnie James Dio on vocals that changed Sabbath's long-staid style, turning the band's sound from that of a "bluesy" rock group to a more Rock Band friendly metal sound.












6. AC/DC - "Back In Black"
- Somehow, for the last decade, AC/DC has managed to straddle the line between nostalgia and over-played status without ever losing their rock dignity. They're a solid example of how good music, great guitar riffs, and a killer singer can elevate a simple no-frills rock band to the level of rock mainstays. Just listen to "Back In Black's" trademark opening riff and tell me it's not the ultimate plastic guitar musical opus.












5. Pantera - "Vulgar Display Of Power
- In 2004 metal lost one of its greatest heroes when Dimebag Darrel, guitarist for Pantera, was gunned down by a crazed fan during a nightclub show. Pantera's "Vulgar Display Of Power" was, arguably, the band's greatest work. Take a honed to a point metal style, the crushing guitar work of Dimebag Darrel and Vinnie Paul, and the growling vocals of Phil Anselmo and blend into a fine metal puree of violence, destruction, mayhem. Songs like "Walk" and "Fucking Hostile" are what metalheads crave, and they'd be a perfect (if edgy) fit for Rock Band.












4. Metallica -" The Black Album"
- Ah yes, Metallica as a designated "hit machine". For a brief time in the early 1990's the once ascendent kings of metal were on an absolute roll. "Enter Sandman" was a radio-friendly hit, and "The Black Album" was flying off shelves. Heralded equally as Metallica at their musical peak, and Metallica as a metal sell-out "The Black Album" is, in retrospect some of the best work the band's ever put out. The rocking "Sad But True", the ambient "Wherever I May Roam", and even the trippy "Through The Never" hold up just as well now as they did nearly twenty years ago. "Enter Sandman's" already a Rock Band staple, why not go for the whole thing?












3. Black Sabbath - "Paranoid"
- The pinnacle of Ozzy Osbourne's stint with Black Sabbath, "Paranoid" is an eight track long rock oddyssey that would be perfect for a four-man Rock Band attack. Bellow through "War Pigs", jam through "Paranoid", and bask in the reverence of the great man of Iron all in one amazing package.












2. Guns 'N Roses- "Appetite For Destruction"
- Yes, I realize G'nR guitarist Slash pimping Rock Band's main competition Guitar Hero 3 pretty much seals the deal as far as this ever happening. But hell, this is fantasy. This is purely a list of albums I'd like to see in Rock Band. That doesn't mean it'll ever happen (nor do I expect it to). But what self-respecting Rock Band player hasn't thought of what things might have been like in a different world? Everything on this disc, to say the least of "Welcome To The Jungle", "Paradise City", and "Sweet Child Of Mine" is absolutely classic and perfect for Rock Band.

*Sigh*... If only.....












1. Metallica- "Master Of Puppets"
- What can I say that hasn't already been said about Metallica's musical opus "Master Of Puppets"? Its less single-centric than "The Black Album" leading to a better cohesive musical experience. Its less pretentious and self-indulgent than "... And Justice For All" . Its probably the best disc Metallica's ever done, and probably one of the finest pieces of modern metal ever pressed. Needless to say, with songs like "Master Of Puppets", "(Welcome Home) Sanitarium", "Damage INC", and "Battery" leading the charge, few (if any) albums would be a better fit in Rock Band.

Questions? Comments? Wanna tell me how wrong I am? Then leave me a comment.